RolePlay: SynopsisCast: 3 male / 4 female
Running time (approximate): 2 hours - not including the interval
Acting edition: Published by Samuel French
In a Docklands apartment, Justin and Julie-Ann are preparing a dinner, while a storm rages outside. They have invited Justin’s mother Arabella and her current foreign lothario to meet Julie-Ann’s parents, Derek and Dee, for the first time. Justin and Julie-Ann are intent on getting married although there are already a few cracks in the relationship, not least Julie-Ann’s humour bypass.
Justin is also discovering how tightly strung his fiancée is when a fork is lost and she makes the ‘suggestion’ the pair abstain from sex until after the marriage. To make matters worse, Justin is receiving calls from his increasingly drunk and incoherent mother.
Julie-Ann leaves to search for a new fork and Justin is left alone. Until a girl falls onto his balcony. Justin pulls in the dishevelled and bruised blonde and discovers she is Paige Petite, trying to escape her boyfriend Rudy’s bodyguard and has dropped in from the flat above. Despite knowing the potential for disaster, he promises to help her and dresses her in Julie-Ann’s best dress. By the time, Julie-Ann returns, Justin and Paige have been joined by the bodyguard Micky, who is obviously torn between his loyalties to his boss and Paige’s blackmail tactics. Julie-Ann is horrified that Paige is wearing her best dress and that the pair won’t leave. With the help of Micky’s pistol, Julie-Ann is instructed to find a new dress from the flat upstairs.
Derek and Dee arrive from Doncaster, where they are big in garden centres. They are somewhat shocked to see Julie-Ann in a revealing dress and are further shocked when Arabella arrives drunk and alone. She immediately mistakes Paige for Justin’s fiancée and describes Julie-Ann as a ‘dog’. Arabella collapses as Julie-Ann leaves screaming and Justin offers soup.
Dinner has apparently gone reasonably well and an incredibly politically incorrect Derek is discussing with Justin his prospects in the garden centre business; Justin’s alarm bells now sounding particularly loudly when he also sees a vision of the future when Julie-Ann and Dee are together. Meanwhile, Micky and Paige are increasingly in stalemate about what to do when Ruby returns. Derek and Dee are extremely unimpressed by the pair and are further mortified when Paige demonstrates a dance for Justin; they believe she’s a ballet dancer - she’s not and performs a lap dance. Pushed to breaking-point, Julie-Ann attacks Paige. As they are separated, Julie-Ann offers to forgive Justin; he is silent.
Micky, aware that he is probably going to be hurt as much as Page when Ruby returns and having impressed Arabella, agrees to do a runner and to take Arabella back to her country home. Julie-Ann, Derek and Dee are together in her bedroom and Justin is alone with Paige trying to make some hard-decisions. Paige asks him for some cash to help her get away and he gives her both money and his coat. As she leaves, he asks rather desperately for her to let him go with her. Reluctantly she agrees and they escape the flat. A doorbell rings followed by a violent hammering. Derek, Dee and Julie-Ann go to answer, as the door opens, Derek manages a cry of alarm at the unseen visitor.
Copyright: Simon Murgatroyd. Please do not reproduce without the permission of the copyright holder.